Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Hot Chicks And...Dan?

There's a website called Hot Chicks With Doucebags which is about...actually, now that I think about it, it's pretty self-explanatory.

It's pictures of guys (douchebags) with women (hot chicks)and accompanying text that is mostly tearing down the guy, talking about how hot the woman is, followed by the occasional bellyaching about "how come women like that end up with guys like him?" Sometimes he even fantasizes about riding in and rescuing these innocent women from the clutches of greasy douchebags everywhere.

It's funny stuff, but (deliberately or not) the guy seems to miss a couple points.

Point One - If there is one central tenet I've learned about romantic relationships, it's this: People find each other for a reason.

I'm not sure whether that's uplifting or chilling. But I do believe it's a fact (supplemented by the Dawn Dumont Corrollary: The two most damaged people in the bar will always find one another)

Part two will continue after these announcements from your sponsor...


Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, September 24 - Cold Lake, Alberta somewhere--it's a last minute thing
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com


Welcome back.

Point Two - A woman in a picture with a guy is not necessarily WITH that guy in any meaningful sense of the word.

I know this for a fact because there are enough pictures of me with women on my camera and many others to start a 'Hot Chicks with Dan' website (with enough left over for a 'Passable Chicks With Dan' website, followed by a 'Great Personalitied Girls With Dan' website)

Why do these pictures exist? Because I go out dancing to clubs regularly to dance, and invariably women will want pictures of themselves with me.

I tell myself it's because they know I'm a comedy superstar (Cold Lake, tonight--here I come)or my status as Brilliant Writer/Voice of a Generation (and Monster Pro Wrestling, lest we forget).

But I think mostly because there's something fun about getting your picture taken with the eccentric, thirty-something club regular dancing by himself. It's the equivalent of getting your picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.

But girls aren't F***ING Mickey Mouse.

By interesting contrast, of the women I've ACTUALLY hooked up with in the last two and a half years (more than six...less than ten, depending on your definition of what exactly counts as a "hook-up") I have photographic evidence of exactly TWO of them...one of whom is my rhymes-with-burlfriend (I know, I know. The "G" word to me is like "Lord Voldemort" to the citizens of the Harry Potter-verse. Merely the thought of it fills me with dread)

So in conclusion: Don't Pity the Hot Chicks...they know exactly what they're getting.

Don't Fear the Douchebag...fear leads to hate which leads to the Dark Side.

Do however check out the website. The pictures are pretty funny.

In the absence of a 'Hot Chicks with Comedians(*)' site, it will have to do.

(*) Unless this counts.


Upcoming Comedy
Wednesday, September 24 - Cold Lake, Alberta somewhere--it's a last minute thing
Monday, September 29 - The Comic Strip, Edmonton

Upcoming Living Columns in the Edmonton Journal
Friday, October 3
Current Living article is up here.

Dan's musings on shyness and relationships can be found at hotchicksandstrangers.blogspot.com

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